Isaiah 12

Isaiah 12:2
"Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation."
The only one I am not afraid to go to is my God. I am not afraid to cry, to argue, to run away from because though I am faithless and disbelieve at times, He is still there.
I am not afraid to go to Him anytime because he does not become annoyed. I am grateful and the LORD will be my God.

Though the storm is here, I will sing.
Though I am afraid, I will dance.
Though I feel alone, I will praise You,
And you alone I will praise and rest in You

I want a penny!

I decided to go to chapel a day early and found myself zoning out until the ending of the “sermon.” I wasn’t zoning out because of the topic or the person preaching, but I found myself thinking about other things that have been on my mind rather than keeping them in God’s hands. Well the end of the sermon the college pastor, Bernie, started talking about his son and gave a meaningful story that really hit home. He started out talking about wishing wells and how he saw it as a waste of money and no point to them. Well his son liked to throw pennies in the well and his youngest son, Nicholas, liked to throw pennies at the people on the other side of the well. I thought that was quite funny. Well the Bernie gave his first son all the pennies in his right pocket and when Nicholas asked for pennies Bernie reached into his left pocket and found that there were no pennies in his left pocket. He asked his wife if she had any pennies and she had none either. Well then he pulls out a five dollar bill and tells Nicholas that that was all he had. Nicholas refused the five and cried out that his father promised him a penny. Bernie told him that the five was worth 500 pennies, but Nicholas still wanted just one penny.
The point of the story was that Nicholas wanted that one penny when his father was giving him something worth more than a penny, 500 pennies! And Bernie used it to show that God has such a huge plan for us, but we choose the lesser value at times. I know for sure that I sometimes chose the penny because my trust is not in God, I don’t understand what the five dollar bill is, but God knows so much more than I can fathom and I need to trust in Him. This is totally easier said than done, but when was it never cool to have an ideal than no goal at all? I’m outs.

what happened to focus?

I'm sorry for not writing lately. My mind has not been in focus. I'm thinking of too many things at the same time. School, relationships, friends, family, church, I can't seem to keep my mind focused. When i started writing this blog my biggest concern was focus. I seem to have a huge problem on just focusing and get caught up in the moment that I forget importance. It seems that it doesn't matter how many lists i write up and how many things I check off, it doesn't seem like it will ever end. I guess its lack of patience that my mind can't seem to focus. I want things to happen now, be done now, but i have to wait.
One thing that I have learned is that I think its better if God doesn't tell us what is going to happen. I learned the hard way that if God tells me something I kind of put it into my own hands instead of just waiting for God's perfect timing. For example, God tells me I'm going to be CEO of a company, so what I start doing is start pushing myself to the top instead of waiting for God to lift me up into the position. It takes time to get to the top, if I got to the top in 5 years, well I might fall in a few months or years because instead of waiting for the right people to put me in the right positions I went through the easy positions to get there.
Well this doesn't make any sense anymore, hopefully I won't be taking so much time between blogs, I love to write. I'm outs...