I haven't written in awhile. I haven't felt inspired to write. Anyway, last night I was feeling depressed, it comes from time to time. I was finally alone with my thoughts for the first time in two weeks and my skepticism comes rolling around and so do my questions. I wonder about creation and God's love and sometimes I can't add it up. I believe entirely in the God who created this universe and everything in it, but sometimes I wonder why. I wonder why the tree of the knowledge of good and evil was in the garden and I wonder why God chose us out of everything else. I think what really bothers me is why God loves us. In my other posts I seem to write about God's love in one way or the other, but its something I can't break through. It seems completely illogical to love humans. I try to understand God's reasoning. I know I can't, but I want to know. I've seen movies like Transformers and Watchmen and there is a consistent theme, Humans are worth saving. Why?
Another thing that disrupt my thoughts is why even try to do anything for this world? This world will soon die and anything I contribute to it will go to waste. I guess that is why God tells us to tell people about Him because nothing else really matters. I can be the best teacher in the world, but it comes to nothing anyway. I can be the best politician, the best musician, the best photographer, but it really comes to nothing. Yeah this sounds really depressing, but its so true. The only thing we can do is smile and just live. But live for what? The only thing worth living for is for God and that is already difficult to do. I'm not saying I don't want to, but the flesh can be so strong at times.
I might be too honest right now, but I feel alone in this world. I don't know if you guys ever feel that way. You could have all the friends in the world and still feel lonely or if your like me you feel as though you have all the friends in the world, but when I go through my phone book I only have two or three people that I know I can call on. If I passed away tomorrow the world will keep going on. When Aristotle, Martin Luther, and Napoleon died, the world kept moving on. They probably contributed to the world (Napoleon did because of all the revolutions), but like I said the world will soon die and it was all for nothing. Blah... Sorry if this depresses you like it does me. I just wish I knew what my next step is going to be or what God wants me to do. I'm outs
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