2/14/2009

God's presence

Lately I've been feeling a bit down. Sometimes depression takes grip of me and I wish I was someone else, somewhere else, or whatever else. This began last week after I stopped feeling God's presence. I thought I did something wrong or was doing something wrong and I got angry and usually my anger brings depression. I met with my RD (my boss you can say) and she was totally used by God. She told me that sometimes there are periods in our lives that God removes the feeling of His presence so that we can grow and be mature in Him. I thought I was doing something wrong. I thought God wasn't proud in what I was doing.
I used to struggle with perfection, not so much anymore. I always tried to make my Mom proud, but I always felt it wasn't good enough for my Mom. All I want to do is make God proud. I don't think I do good works so I can get to heaven because I already know I'm going there, but I just want to make God proud of me, of my life, and that I used it for Him. When I was with Michael it wasn't glorifying God and God told me so and so after a few months of reluctance I gave him up. I'm a bit more relieved to know that God sees that I'm old enough to make me more mature in Him.
Anyway, some good news, I got rehired to be an RA (residence Assistant) again for next school year. It's really exciting because I get to RA the honors building and plus the girls on my staff look wicked awesome! And I think I'm running for president of the student body, yup now its out there. I really think I'm going to do it. I have a vision and with some hard work on my part I think SG will go places. Here's for hoping. Please pray for me and for next year, and this semester too. It's a bit overwhelming with first screening (getting my teaching certificate) and some new things in my life. I'm outs