It seems as though that when we fail there are two choices we can make, accept it (probably trying again or learning from it) or not accepting it. We all wish we could just accept our failure and push through, but sometimes it is not like that. When someone sins, like having sex before marriage, committing adultery, stealing, or lying; sometimes it feels like we cannot go back. How can one become a virgin again after giving their body to someone that was not their spouse or to someone that is just a jerk? How can one go back to where they were true to their spouse? How can one go back to having the trust they once had before they lied? How can I feel like I can go back? We can all say that we live in a messed up world. I used to (and sometimes still) have the hardest trouble accepting that though I’m disgusting, God still sees that I’m worth it. The thing about failure is that it brings you onto a new route. I started reading this book called “Three cups of Tea” by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin. I have only read the first three chapters, but it basically talks about Mortenson’s failure of climbing K2 and failing to fulfill his promise to his sister who had passed away. However, because of his failure he accidently went to the wrong city he was supposed to be in and life brought him onto a new route. After sin in our lives, which should ultimately bring death, in Christ it brings new life.
Last year before May hit I was a very different person than who I am now… well spiritually. I was prideful, I thought I was spiritually mature than most other people, I was a Pharisee. Of course, I don’t think I went as far as being like a Pharisee, but more like a metaphor. Anyway, after my failure and some angry talks with God I’m still a bit confused as to where I’m supposed to be. I still have a lot of growing up to do, but it brought be back to step one. My story doesn’t seem too inspiring, but God has a time for everything, I just need to be a bit patient I guess. Kind of like the movie “You, me, and Dupree” The mothership has not called me yet, lol.
Failing sometimes brings steps back, kind of like a one-step forward and two steps back, but this time its one-step forward and all the way back to square one. I think that is why people are afraid to fail. It’s not fun starting over.
However, starting over doesn’t mean doing the same thing over too. Maybe it’ll take you along a different track that you never thought you would ever take and enjoy it and it’ll be doing something to glorify God. Anyway, just some thoughts that I hope you enjoyed. I’m outs


kod ekle said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Hey hun. :)
Spiritual growth isn't something you arrive at. It's a process. Sometimes we do need failures to redirect us. Sometimes we need to fail so that we can learn to love ourselves. You are NOT disgusting. You should never call yourself something like that. You are one of God's creations, do you think he likes it that you're describing it that way?
You know my opinon on religion in general, that it's basically men trying to control us. This is a great example of that. Because of someone else's words you are viewing yourself in a negative way -- a way that is not in line with what GOD thinks about you.
Take some time out and just breathe. Search deep inside your heart and find the beauty there. xxx

stephsousa said...

I don't see as myself disgusting, just the things I do sometimes and where my heart is. I'm really searching, don't worry. You know if I get really sick of myself I'll tell you and you'll knock some sense into me