Wishing it was just a movie or book

There are times in our lives where we wish we could be someone else or be somewhere else. I might not be the only one, but I think I've always never wanted to be me. I always stuck myself into movies and books because it brought me to a new world. I thought I was the character, but not only because I would be that someone else, but I know that at the end of the movie it's not real. Sometimes i just wish my life was just a movie, it'll end eventually in a few hours. I don't know if I'm pushing any buttons out there, but I just wanted to share that your not alone... I remember when i was a little girl I wished my life would be dramatic, or not all that "nice." I think that's the worst wish I ever made, I guess I just wanted to have my life to be screwed up so at the end I would have someone to make it all better and sweep me off my feet. Sounds girly... I just want to be out of this body already, too much hurt and pain. I don't understand how God loves us. We are so screwed up most of the time, I don't even think we should have any mercy, we're disgusting, but I guess we all need someone to make everything better and maybe not in the way we think is better. I'm just rambling now... I'm outs.