So I'm not going to put the whole passage, that will be way too long, but I want to zone in one verse that has been bothering me today.
v. 18 "Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men."
Through Adam all of us sin and "fall short", but then through Christ all have become holy for those who believe in Him.
I can't help but think of the worst torture that Christ must have gone through. It must have been really terrible because he died for ALL who believe in him. He went through torture, name calling, carrying himself to his own death, a crown of thorns put upon his head, his garments being gambled, his friends just watching, nails in his hands and feet, his shoulders going in and out of place every time he breathed, and I can keep going on. The worst possible torture I can think of. But what really bothers me is that he did it willingly! He went through the worst, so that his children may one day go to heaven and be with Him. What grace!
And if you go into the next chapter, Romans 6 it says "...that we should no longer be slaves to sin- because anyone who has died has been freed from sin." I can't help but hate myself. I have been freed from my chains of sin yet I keep wanting to go back. Like the Hebrews being in the desert, they wanted to go back to Egypt over and over again, though they went through the worst labor there. God provided, He did not fail them, yet they wanted to go back. I am just like them. I see myself slowly going back to sin.
Right now I'm reading over Psalms and I see David cry out to God over and over, "Save me, O God..." and "Hasten O God to save me:..." through his trials he asks God to help Him and he sings praise to God.
Oh how I wished I was like David, a woman after God's own heart.
I can't help but keep wondering why God is so good to us.
Psalm 69:6 "May those who hope in you not be disgraced because of me, O LORD, the LORD Almighty; may those who seek you not be put to shame because of me, O LORD of Israel."
God knows my sin, He knows those thoughts that pass through my head. People may see me and think, now there goes a girl who is on the right path, but God sees my heart and knows that I fall so many times. I hate that i fall, I hate that my flesh still desires, I hate that i fall short. But I love that I have a Father that loves me SO much, I have a King who willingly died for my life, He is the friend that will never fail me.
GOD IS SO GOOD!! I want to shout it out, I want to run in the streets, I want to tell all my friends, but I can't. Why can't I? I don't know, my body is lazy, my voice fails, I am peer pressured to conform. God should not take me into consideration, He should look away from me. I am a disgusting creature, I am one who hears, but does not tell. I am the one that that has the cure but does not tell those who need it.
God look away from me, I am not worthy, you are so Holy and so righteous, I am not worthy. LORD over all, take pity for I am needy. You use me and I take credit, I am prideful, I deserve none of your grace, yet you give me all of Your love. My heart beats and my mind can not grasp or even express how much I am Thankful, You have been so good to me. Take all the glory, only you deserve it.
Sorry, this is getting way complicated. I'm outs.
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