Long Weekend

How I wish this past weekend was like any other weekend, nothing special about it. Go to the movies, hang with friends, work, church, the regular things that I do.

I want to runaway
From my everyday
Responsibilities of life.
To forget would be such
A blessing.

"Is there anything to do?"
I ask with eagerness.
To keep my mind occupied
would be such a blessing.

Oh to think, to let
My mind wander,
What a curse!

How I wish people would just leave me alone on things that I care little for anymore. This weekend will forever be in my mind and I don't need anyone to remind me of it, I need no one to ask questions.

How I want to scream
And not feel the strain.
How I want to feel, but
Not feel attached.
I want to run, but
Not feel tired.
I want to forget, but
It always keep coming
Back to mind.
Such torture of the body
To my weak heart.

I wish people could just understand, but I've come to the realization that no one will ever understand, only God.
Psalm 139:1 "O LORD, you have searched me and you know me." Verse 15"My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth."
Psalm 141:8, "But my eyes are fixed on you, O Sovereign LORD; in you I take refuge - do not give me over to death.
Psalm 142:1-2, "I cry aloud to the LORD; I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble."

I have such turmoil within me, and I do not wish to bring misery upon others.

Some of you might be thinking, "then why write this whole blog?" Well I just wanted to show that I'm not the happy go lucky person everyone thinks I am. STOP PUTTING ME IN A BOX! I'm human too. I'm outs.