I don't need it

I was contemplating life today. I wish I did more of that during college. A lot of the great minds write about the contemplative life and the active life, and I'm sure a lot of people can vogue that I have lived the active life in college. I was placed in leadership positions at school that can be (I guess) commendable. I've been nominated for things, but I never have saved the world. I just got to help one person at a time pretty much. I guess that's commendable. I guess I'm just tired of being noticed. I'm tired of receiving praise. I'm tired of being noticed. I just wanna do what God has placed me on this earth to do and just go home, my heavenly home. I don't need a prize, I don't need any praise, I don't need any recognition. Just let me do what God has placed me on this earth to do and I will be happy with that. I used to want to be recognized. I used to desire to be remembered. I lusted after power. And now, I want to be put in a hole and forgotten. Let me be in the background. Allow me to blend with the crowd. No I'm not depressed, I'm just tired for receiving the praise that God deserves. I'm not a saint, I just failed a lot and learned from my experiences... God did it all pretty much. I'm outs.

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