Lately I've had a problem with prayer. I do believe in prayer and I always ask people to pray for me, I do believe in God and I believe He could do all things, but I keep putting God in a box. I pray for things, but I half think that it won't be answered. God has provided so much to me already, but I sometimes become like the Israelites in the desert. God provides them food and direction yet they still turn away. I don't want to be like them. I want to have hope. I don't understand why I can't just believe, God has done so much for me already. I don't know, I have to get out of this funk that I am currently in. I just hope that I'm taking the road God wants me to take, I need God to help me come back to that place where I first believed. That is always the hardest for me to do. To go back. I've grown so much, yet God tells us to have a child like faith, and that means going back to where I first believed because that is when it was its strongest.
Sometimes I feel like breaking my legs so when it comes to relearning it I could learn it better (figuratively of course.) Anyway, I'm blabbering, I have no idea how this is teaching any of you guys in growing in your faith, but I know that my little faith will always be used for God's glory.
Oh one more thing, my birthday was June 13th, thank you for any of you guys that called me or texted me, it was way nice, but I think the one thing that really made my day was a message I received from a friend that morning. A friend of mine in high school was a total atheist, I talked to him about God for all 4 years in high school, I never stopped. Well he told me thank you for always talking to him about God because it helped him come to God, now he is a Christian. Sometimes I just need to be reminded that all the name calling I received and the rough shoulder I received in high school was all for God's glory. To help bring one person to Christ makes up for all the harshness I received. I know there was a party in heaven for one person that came to Christ and for the obedience that the Christian has for talking to that nonbeliever. God enjoys are obedience rather than our sacrifices.
1 Samuel 15: 22-23
"But Samuel replied:
'Does the LORD delight in burnt
offerings and sacrifices
as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD?
To obey is better than sacrifice,
and to heed is better that the fat of rams.
For rebellion is like the sin of divination,
and arrogance like the evil of idolatry.
Because you have rejected the word of the LORD
he has rejected you as king.'"
Well like I said too much blabbering, I don't know how this all makes sense, maybe only Hispanics will be able to understand my train of thought. Anyway, I'm outs.
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