Usually I've been doing blogs on thoughts that have been running through my head. Hopefully my transparency has helped some of you that read my blogs. Well lately I have felt no inspiration to write, I desperately want to write but my fingers just are not corresponding. I came to the realization that my pride and stubbornness has probably blocked this because now it might be used to satisfy me instead of glorifying God. So for right now I am going to write something about what God has been pointing me to. This won't make any of you think, it just will help me organize my thoughts.
When I was a little girl I wanted to be an astronaut, then I wanted to become a teacher, I loved to play class and play the teacher with my friends. Then when I was fourteen I wanted to become a missionary. From then till about a month ago I wanted to be a missionary, it would change sometimes to linguist then government official, but its basically been a missionary. But though I want to be a missionary my heart was never in the right place for it. I wanted to be a missionary to change the world, not to glorify God. I just wanted to be remembered and not let God move through people. Though I wanted to be a missionary I always day dream about teaching teenagers in a Christian school. I like to have my own space and teach freely and have people listen to me. I like to think of ways to keep people's attention and I love to organize things so I would be great at organizing class discussions and organizing class days. It motivates me.
Though being a missionary has been a dream of mine, I have to get back to where God wants me to be and has molded me to be. So no more seminary school, sad, no Journeyman which I wouldn't have been able to do since I don't go to a Baptist church, but a nondenominational church. I have no idea where to go from here since all my plans since I was fourteen has circled around being a missionary. But for some reason I think I know what God has in plan and I'm looking forward to it. My last blogs have been to call out to God and he will always be there and guide you so I leave off with this verse from Jeremiah 33:3, "‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’"
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