What makes me angry is the fact that some people think they can just run away from their problems and not face them. Be it whatever it is. Marriages failing because there isn't any communication or trust or too tired or whatever it may be. My parents got a divorce because my dad couldn't freaking handle my mom anymore. My dad and step mom are getting divorced because she stopped communicating with my dad. Divorces left and right. And then people wonder why young adults and teens are more likely to have sex rather than get married. Its scary to think that you share this life with one person and then they up and leave you. What bothers me is I try to figure out what is going on through the head of the person leaving. I can't understand why one would do that, unless of course their beating you up. I think its just selfish. Because not only does the spouse get screwed over but the kids too and little cousins, nieces, nephews, little brothers and sisters.
I get scared. I'm deathly afraid of marriage or getting too close. With my boyfriend, I can't help but still wonder. He knows that and he tries to help me, but its a scar thats deep and stays. I think that is why I get so attached with people, try to be there for people. My sister too, though we hate on each other lots of times. When someone becomes my friend I try to be there for that person because I hope that they will be there for me too. Kind of like a family, but I'm not comparing it to my blood family, but to a bonding family that sticks closer than blood. A David and Jonathon kind of family.
This is love. No not a love that you feel, but a love that stays even when you don't feel it. What is that kind of love? Enduring, Everlasting, Never Failing. Only through Christ can one understand that kind of love. I've been in a pile of crap because of my sin and its been hard to listen to what people have to say and its been hard for God to move through me. I have this thing that makes me detached from life. I don't want to be apart, but a part of people's lives. So whenever I feel I'm going to fail, I have someone to catch me. And though I have this scar I know not to make the same mistakes. And though I make mistakes I have a God that will always carry me through. I'm outs.
Blog I've posted
- ► 2009 (22)
- ▼ July (4)