Perfect or acting?

I can't help but criticize myself. I don't think very highly of myself if thats the case. I always feel like I'm below this line of awesomeness, of just being cool. Call me a perfectionist or whatever, but whats life if there's no growth?
Yesterday was the day i left my home, everything i know, and move up north, Ft. Lauderdale. It wasn't that hard, i almost did cry but I'm glad for the change. People kept on telling me how great i am and inspirational i am. I'm like thanks, but in my head i was totally like 'what the crap?' I don't see myself as an inspiring person or someone that works hard. I think I'm lazy and a procastinator.
In one of my last posts I talked about how I tell people how it is when their wrong and then they call me perfect. I hate that, i really, really hate that. In some bizarre craze I know that I'm imperfect, but then i try to pull myself in the norm sometimes. I have to pull myself to a lower self, I'm trying not to be mean but man sometimes I feel like no one ever tries and their just trying to pass by. I don't mean everybody, but "a lot of people just want to be liked by their friends, but only some people want to make a difference by being the difference." Yeah i totally made up that line and I'm copywriting it, lol. But what I mean is that making a difference is putting God first then people second, it says so in the bible. People are important without a doubt, but when it comes to what God wants it's Him first. Well I'm out.

1 comment:

Anne Marie said...

yay! you're there :) i'm so excited for you, and praying that the Lord blesses you with good friends, fun, family, and personal growth... visit often!!!